"But, Mom, it's been almost three years and
you've not even tried."
"You haven't had a Christmas tree since
daddy
passed away, and I think it's time you put
your tree up for display." "Maybe this year
I
will do it, then she smiled at me. But, I
don't
think today I feel like messing with a
tree."
Three weeks until Christmas, as I sat there
at
my mother's , sipping tea and talking of
my children and my brother's. She preferred
to
live alone after my dad's death, because
she
said, she never would become somebody's
pest.
So we chatted and enjoyed each other's
company. I told her, " Mom, the kids ask
every
year about your tree." "They ask why
grandma
doesn't like to put it up and trim , so I
just told
them, next time you ask her, you explain to
them."
She just smiled and said, " You tell them I
don't need a tree. Santa comes only to
children, he won't come to me." We laughed
and then I had to leave. I had not made a
case.
She said, "I'll put a little one upon the
fireplace."
On Christmas Day, since Daddy died, we all
went to my mother's. But it was not a happy
time, not like the many others. We would
take
some things to her, our presents and some
food. She wanted to keep it simple, she
never
was in the mood.
But this year as we reached her door, the
children started saying, "Mom, there's
something different, we hear Christmas
music
playing." I knocked and opened up the door,
completely mesmerized. I just could not
believe the scene stretched before my eyes.
Christmas music playing loudly, and smells
that
filled the air. A Christmas dinner cooking
and
the tree was sitting there. Fully trimmed
lighted up, like never it had been. A
roaring
fire and all the room with decorated trim.
Presents underneath the tree and presents
all
around. I just stood there looking and I
couldn't make a sound. Stockings hanging by
the fire, so full and each a name, I
wondered
what had happened, did my mother go insane?
She came out of the kitchen, with a smile
across her face. "Well." she said, "what
do you
think of grandma's Christmas place?" The
kids
were all excited as they ran to see the
tree.
Then, she sat me down and said, "There's
something you must see."
"I went up to the attic after you left here
last
time . Just to look in it , to see what I
could find." "I saw the Christmas tree
wrapped
up, but much to my surprise, I also found
the
gifts your dad had bought before he died."
Around her neck she had a locket, I had
never
seen. She said, "Here, read this Christmas
card, you'll see just what I mean."
I opened up the Christmas card and it was
from my dad. I started getting teary eyed
and
started feeling sad. The card was really
beautiful and he had done some writing. It
was really eerie, but was also so exciting.
"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he had
written
to my mother, "You know I love this holiday
much more thank any other,"
"I know this may be sad, but this may be
our
last on earth. But we both know we have
lived it for all that it's worth. We both
know
that I am ill and may not have much time,
But
the time we've had together was so very
fine."
"I love you so much, sweetheart, and I know
this will be hard, so I put this letter
inside of your Christmas card. I am not
afraid to die for we've had many years.
But,
the thought of leaving you has caused me
many
tears."
"You are my source of living and your love
has
made me whole. Your love has penetrated
even
to my very soul. That is why I know,
sweetheart, I am the first to go. But we
again
will be together, that much I do know."
"A love like ours cannot die out, it is too
very
strong. I will be the first to leave, but
you will
come along. One day we will be happier
than
we've ever been. I love you wife, and
lover,
and dearest, dearest friend."
"But, sweetheart, please be happy. It will
be a
little while before I once again can see
your
glowing, gentle smile. One day we will look
back on this and hold each other tight and
never have to look again into the darkest
night."
"I've given you this locket and our
pictures
are within, with smiling faces just the way
that it has always been. Christmas at our
house was always such a great affair, with
all
our loved ones sharing happiness while
gathered there."
"These pictures are from Christmas' past,
that
show our happiness. And now it will be
different, but I have one final wish. It
was
the best time of the year and I will still
be
there. Remember this, and open up this
locket
that you wear."
"Enjoy the friends and family, and the
festive
joyous ring. Just share the love that we
have
known, and never change a thing. Remember
that this happiness will take you through
the
years. And when I hold you once again, I'll
wipe away those tears."
I closed the card and wiped my eyes and
took
a little while. Then, when I looked at
mother, I
could only see her smile. "This was his
favorite
holiday, " my mom said again, and I will
make it happy, until I'm with him again."
