My Son Is Coming Home
Michelle A. Morgan
After nine long months I will get
to see him. I am happy and scared of what lies
ahead. Everyone is here. The nursery is ready and so
is he. The doctor says it is time. My son is coming
home
There he is, screaming and mad that he was taken
from his nice warm place in my womb. He is balling
his fists and shivering. All the noise and the
lights of the delivery room must be frightening to
him but soon he will be in my arms and feel my heart
beat and he will know he is safe. Tomorrow my son is
coming home.
I comb his hair for the second time and tell him
once again what a big boy he is. On his first day of
kindergarten he looks far too young to be leaving me
for a whole day. He is beaming but underneath I know
he is scared. I hug him and hold my breath as the
bus door closes. I am waving and smiling but I feel
the tears coming. I follow the bus to school and
finally have to leave him. Today is scary for both
of us. After the hours tick by I hear the bus and I
see him smiling and holding a picture he drew. My
son is coming home.
I pack his overnight bag, stuffed full of clothes
and snacks.. It is only for a night but I am
convinced he is too young to sleep away from home
with his friends. My husband says I have to stop
babying him but I tell him he will always be my
baby. I toss and turn most of the night. Part of me
says it is a break for us but part of me wonders if
he will be okay without us for the night. I call him
first thing in the morning and am just a little
jealous that he had fun and didn’t miss me. I pull
up and beep the horn and he takes his time getting
in the car. I can finally relax. My son is coming
home.
His first date. Where has the time gone? I try to
help him get ready and he tells me to leave him
alone. I wonder what the girl is like that he is
going to see. I wonder if he will behave. I worry
about far too many things until I hear the door knob
turn and can finally rest because my son is coming
home.
I never thought this day would come but it is here
in the blink of an eye. His cap and gown are in his
car and he is insisting he doesn’t have time for any
more pictures or he will miss his friend’s party.
His diploma is tossed casually on the table as he
heads out the door. I make him promise to be good
and call us if he needs a ride home. He rolls his
eyes and kisses me goodbye. I sit up looking at his
baby pictures and crying because he became a man
today and although he is thrilled to be free from
high school , I am not ready to let go of my little
boy. I hear his car pull in. My son is coming home.
I remember the day we drove him to the airport. I
looked at the young man sitting next to me and
wondered if he would do okay. Instead of asking him,
I pat his hand and tell him that he will do great.
He is walking in the footsteps of other men in our
family and they too are proud of him. They call his
flight. For the first time in many years, he doesn’t
care who sees him as he hugs me tight and says, “I
love you mom.” I promise myself not to cry. I wont
see him for several months and he will be different
when I see him again. I can’t wait for the time when
my son is coming home.
Some how I make it through the first week and month
and before I know it, I am heading back to the
airport. I see him in his uniform. He is so
handsome. Even his stance is different this time.
Any traces of the boy who left here months ago is
shed as he stands before us. I wonder who this
stranger is but those thoughts are dashed when he
spots me and smiles. I am thrilled that my son is
coming home.
I have never been so torn. How can pride and love cause so
much grief? I want this to just be a dream but it is not.
I am more tired than I have ever been in my life. Everyone
is here. The only thing I have to hold is the flag they
folded from his casket. My husband accepts my son's medals
from the officer who tells us our son is a hero. I
promised myself I would not cry. I don’t know if there are
any tears left. God, even though I am angry at you right
now, you have to promise me you will take good care of my
boy. My son is coming home.


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