When the good Lord was creating fathers, he started with a tall frame.
A female angel nearby said, "What kind of a father is that? If you're
going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put the
father up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling,
tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without
God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would
children have to look up to?"
And when God made a father's hands, they were large.
The angel shook her head and said, "Large hands can't manage diaper pins, small
buttons, rubber bands on pony tails, or even remove splinters caused
from baseball bats."
Again God smiled and said, "I know but they are large enough to hold
everything a small boy empties from his pockets, yet small enough to
cup a child's face in them."
Then God molded long slim legs and broad shoulders.
"Do you realize
you just made a father without a lap?" The angel chuckled.
God said, " A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to
pull a sled, to balance a boy on a bicycle, or to hold a sleepy head on
the way home from the circus."
When God was in the middle of creating the biggest feet anyone had
ever seen, the angel could not contain herself any longer.
"That's not fair. Do you honestly think those feet are going to get out of bed early
in the morning when the baby cries, or walk through a birthday party
without crushing one or two of the guests?"
God smiled and said, "They will work. You will see. They will support a small child who wants to ride to Branbury Cross or scare mice away
from a summer cabin or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a
firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and
Finally, almost as an after thought, He added tears.
Then He turned to the angel and said, "Now are you satisfied he can love as much as a mother can?"
The angel said nothing more.
Author: Erma Bombeck