I am writing you this letter to say I love you so very much and
I forgive you for the choice you made, even though my heart is
broken into what seems to be a million tiny pieces.
I am living in Heaven now with Jesus and He tells me how
much he loves me as He holds me in His loving arms. He is
my Loving Father.
When I first got to Heaven I cried all the time and my heart
ached to be held in your arms just one time. I wanted to be your little
girl so very bad. Was I bad, Mommy? Is that why you
made the choice you made? If only I could understand why
you decided to allow this awful thing to happen to me.
I asked Jesus how I came to be in Heaven when the last
thing I remember was feeling so safe and warm inside of you.
Jesus asked me to think back really hard to see if I could remember
anything more. All of a sudden it was all coming back and I
was terrified all over again.
I remember you & my daddy screaming and yelling really
often. I remember you being so happy and telling him you were
going to have a baby. I remember from that moment on you
crying real often and one day I heard Daddy yell at you and
say, "You get it done or you will never see me again."
You cried for several days then and I wanted to hug you and
tell you how much I loved you. I wanted to make whatever was
hurting you all better, but I couldn't and now it is too late.
One day I felt this awful thing coming near me and it made me
feel uncomfortable. I had never seen it before. It grabbed on to
my little arm and pulled and pulled till the pain was so bad I
could not stand it. I cried and I screamed, "Mommy, save me,
" but I guess you couldn't hear me. I was terrified!
This awful thing ripped off my arm, then my legs and another
arm . The pain was so bad I could not scream any more and
I was having trouble breathing then I just knew I was dying.
The pain was too awful and too much to explain and I would not
ever wish for anyone to go through what I went through. Mommy,
I pray you never have to feel the pain that I felt that day. It was
I realize now that I am never going to be able to hug or kiss you
ever or tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I wanted
to be able to say, "Mommy, I love you with all my heart and
soul." But it's too late now.
After I knew I had died I could feel myself floating up and up.
At first I was scared, then I saw I was being carried by the
most beautiful angel. She held me real close and sang to me. She
told me not to be afraid, I was going to a wonderful new home
where I would always feel loved.
And Mommy, the angel was right, Heaven is the most beautiful
place and Jesus is the most wonderful Daddy I could ever want or
ask for but I still wonder, why did you not want me, Mommy?
Jesus told me (Children are a blessing from God). Didn't
you want to have a blessing from God, Mommy?
When I arrived in Heaven, I was sobbing so hard and still so
scared by what had happened to me, I asked Jesus what this thing
was that killed me and He said it was called *abortion*.
I pray this bad thing doesn't get you Mommy. Sometimes I cry
when I see all the babies that come to heaven, that have been killed
by this awful bad thing.
Jesus tries to comfort me and holds me close and the angels sing to
me, but Mommy, I miss you and I will always wonder why
you made the choice you did and why you didn't want me. I
wanted you! I know you did what you felt was best for you
Mommy, but what about me? No one considered my feelings.
I did have feelings, you know and what I went through I
wouldn't wish anyone to ever have to endure.
Mommy, please believe me when I say I wanted to live. I
tried to fight this awful pulling thing off, but then this awful noisy
thing came in and started sucking me all apart. I really didn't
have a chance, Mommy. This big thing was too powerful so I
just gave up after awhile.
Mommy, Please talk to other Mommy's and ask them to pray
and talk to God before this awful thing called *abortion* happens
to their babies.
Mommy, I am not judging you and other people should not either.
The decision you made is between you and God. God says *abortion*
is wrong and he says it will bother you for a long, long time, so
Mommy, please go seek counseling to help you through all the
trauma you are facing and most of all, please ask for Gods
forgiveness. I pray someday you will see the choice you made as
a mistake and will decide to help other women to decide to make
a better choice. That better choice is called *adoption*.
I love you so very much Mommy and one thing you could do
for me and God is to: Please educate other Mommy's so their
unborn children do not have to suffer the painful death that I did.
I pray I get to see you again on day, Mommy.
Your Loving Daughter
Author: Delilah M. (Dede) Haas
Copyright: July 23-03
Adoption gives your unborn baby a family!
Please make the right choice,
The one God would want you to make.